Goodbye

Dear friends, I just wanted to say goodbye. The blog experience has been great but I have decided to put an end to it - at least for now. There's too much going on in our life at the moment. What's more, I realized that I much rather hand write my own journal, as I have done most of my life.
Thanks for being loyal cyber friends.
I wish you well.

Beautiful Song

Another gem, another beautiful voice...

Praise Adonai...

...From the rising of the sun 'til the end of every day! Sing praise!

Divine Intervention

Repairs having been done, the house is now on the market. We have had quite a few people interested already but no offers yet. No need to say that things have been hectic here lately, hence the absence of posts! I still log on daily to read about the blogs I follow though, simply to know how you guys are doing.
About two weeks ago, we found out we had to change our furnace and A/C condenser, a financial investment we weren't prepared to make. Since it had to be done, we went ahead and called an A/C & Heating specialist. Shortly after he started taking off the old furnace he called my husband and I and said: 'you had a fire that started here but somehow it stopped - it doesn't make any sense because with the gas and the wood, that should have burnt and possibly, the house with it.' All of a sudden, my knees got weak realizing the tragedy that could have happened. It didn't make sense to him how the fire stopped but I knew right away that God had intervened in our favor and stopped it, to spare us. How faithful is our God, the only One and True God! How good is He! He reaches out His hand and helps us in times of trouble. I wonder how many of these 'fires' He's stopped in our lives...how many tragedies -unbeknownst to us- we almost were involved in if it hadn't been for His intervention. One day, we will know and we will all bow down to Him. All. To Him be the glory, forever and ever.

Photos of my creations

Here's a sneak preview of some of the work I do: this necklace combines light and dark gray freshwater pearls with a hint of silver here and there. Click on the Beading section on top of the page to see more of my creations. Enjoy!

The Stoning of Soraya M.

Last night, my husband and I sat down, watched and listened to the true, heart-wrenching story of Soraya M., an Iranian woman who was falsely accused of adultery - which is still punishable by death by stoning in today's Iran. That's what happened to kind spirited Soraya, a devoted mother, a wife, whose husband's desire to marry a 14 year old girl led him to want to divorce then get rid of her. With the help of the village's Mayor and Mullah, they plotted to kill her, trapping her and the whole village inhabitants into an intricate web of lies. There are no words to describe what was done... As I watched the movie, I was reminded of that woman whom the Pharisees brought to Jesus Christ, to see if He too, would accuse and take part in the stoning.

'The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group ⁴and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. ⁵In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" ⁶They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.' John 8:3-6

Oh, how sweet and loving is my Lord, who forgives all of our sins. Instead of accusing her, he simply said:

"If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." ⁸Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.⁹At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. ¹⁰Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

¹¹"No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin." (John 8:7-11)

My heart grieves when I hear stories like Soraya's. I can only sigh and look to our Lord, the one and only true God, who has provided a way out from our transgressions in His Beautiful son Jesus Christ, whose blood purifies us from all sins and restores us as heirs of the Kingdom.

Great Reads

In the midst of the hustle and bustle I still find some time to read some good books I have acquired lately. Apart from savoring the book of Leviticus, I have found a gem in 'Jewish Literacy' by Rabbi Joseph Telushkin. It is a mine of information on the different books of the Tanach, one to have on your bookshelf! In addition, I have started 'The miracle of the Scarlet Thread' by Richard Booker which looks into the power of the blood of Jesus Christ through the whole Bible, Old and New Testament alike. It links everything. It shows how the old Testament was a shadow of the things to come as far as Jesus Christ, His sacrifice and the forgiveness of our sins through that sacrifice are concerned. Hopefully it will shed some new light on the subject. The reviews were pretty good and thought I'd give it a try.
Alright, enough posting - back to my books!

Awards Ceremony

Things have been hectic here as we are getting ready to put our house on the market, hence the absence of posts.
We managed to go to the Awana Ceremony last night though and, of course, I teared up when they called my oldest son to present him his award. For those who are unfamiliar with it, Awana is a great program for kids where they learn about God, Our Savior Jesus Christ and the way we should live out our faith in Him. They memorize Bible verses too. Anyway, last night was Awards' Night. I'd never gone to anything like it. I so love how this country rewards individual efforts. I am happy that my boys are growing is such an environment. To me, it is new and love it!

Star Wars Night

This idea was started by Christine @ Southern Belle Dreaming and thought I'd join as I believe it is one good way to remember the good times in your life.
Even though this week was rich in happy events, I choose one that happened tonight. Tonight was Star Wars night :) I smile because it is definitely NOT my thing but I LOVE so much having friends around that I said yes! when my son and husband talked about doing something like that. On the menu was fun, sharing, laughing, kids running around, pizzas, pies and of course, The Phantom Menace! I love my friends and want to enjoy their company as much as I can before we go!

Garage Sale

Has anyone got experience with garage sales? I don't and I want to organize one. That's one of the good side about moving; we get rid of things we don't want anymore. Do we need a special permit to do it? Can we post signs anywhere we want? How do I get all the information I need? Town hall?
Being a thrower, I won't have a lot to sell so this shouldn't be too much of a hassle.

Our moving consultant has called and we're going to talk more in details about the transfer, tomorrow over the phone. I'm starting to have butterfly in my stomach...

Tears and Beads

I've been a little shaken this morning as I'm having difficulties letting go of something precious here. Goodbyes are not my forte...I need to look forward though and press on. Time is flying and I have so much to do.
Thankfully, I was able to take a break and do some more beading. I have started my summer collection a while back and love it! I'm having so much fun creating unique colorful pieces! I'm planning to start marketing them online next year. So far, all my creations have been shipped to France and have sold well. Only two wonderful ladies -my sister and my mother- are selling them in their Salon/Beauty Shop but it looks promising. So far, everything has been purchased - let's hope the ones I just sent are going to sell just as well. It arrived right on time for Mother's Day -which is the 30 May this year- so that should help!
Have a blessed day everyone and let us keep your eyes on the Lord, for He is our Shepherd.

NC Bound

So it is now official; we're leaving California and are moving to North Carolina. It looks like we will be there by August 1st, at the latest. We will be working with a company that specializes in transferring employees. A consultant will be there to help us in a lot of ways; planning the move, sell our house and help us find a new one over there etc. It looks like I'm going to have to put a lot of the things I've been doing lately on hold and just focus on preparing our home to be on the market.
Wow...What an unexpected twist! To tell you the truth, right now, I'm a little bit overwhelmed so words won't easily come out to express how I feel. I just know there is a mixture of excitement, apprehension and sadness. The latter stems from the thought of leaving some dear people behind...The excitement is for the adventure part of it; new state, new faces, new house, new friends... and apprehension, well...we have a mountain to climb and there's a lot of unknown factors in the process. But the good news in all this is that we have the Great Shepherd to guide us. I know He'll be there, every step of the way.

Boker Tov

Or 'Good Morning' in English! In spite of the busy week we had, I was able to press on and study Hebrew. I have reached the goals set last week with the exceptions of the dots & dashes - again!
In this coming week, I think, I'll focus on developing my listening skills by tuning daily on an online radio station and will continue learning how to read/write basic Hebrew words and phrases - using the script letters.

לְהִתְרָאוֹת

Heritage Village

A little townhome at the end of a cul-de-sac. There lived a fun, vibrant and beautiful woman whose life motto - among a few others I'm sure - was, and still is, to 'live content'. With three arrows in her quiver and a fourth on the way, she was called blessed by many. Oh, of course, she had her own struggles; it is the fate of every human being in this fallen world - but her dedication to living as a true child of God surpassed her anguish. She is an inspiration to get out of your own self to reach out to others. She perseveres in brotherly love and wasn't satisfied with a 'no, another day' when she reached out to me as I was in so much pain years ago, asking if we could get together. She literally went after me a few times because she saw the sadness in my eyes as she then put it. She didn't want to let go. She wanted to become a friend - and she did.
Thank you Christine for your endeavor to reach out and minister Christ's love to me.
You did well and thus became part of my inner healing. Many times, you allowed yourself to be hurt - and by that I mean you had to put up with strong uncontrollable emotions I experienced back then - just so I could savor the sweet taste of God's love in my life.
Christine, I wish you well. May God pour out His blessings on you. May He continue to give you wisdom and knowledge of His will for your life. Read and pray the Word of God, always.

Christine has moved and is now in another state. Please, take some time to visit Her Blog to know her a little better. Be assured that all that you'll read is a true reflection of who she is. She is indeed one genuine person, a quality becoming rare these days.

The Lord, He is God!

A Hebrew Update

So here is the progress made this past week with my Hebrew learning:
I have reached pretty much all the goals I had set with the exception of the vowels. I still do not master the whole thing and it is going to take some more practice in order for me to be able to recognize the different dots and dashes. I now know the letters though, both in their script and cursive form, know the name for each one of them -yes! I can sing the AlephBet song! - know how to introduce myself and how to count from 1 to 10. So, I'll give myself a 9/10 - which is good. Yay!

In this coming week, I want to work on:
- The dots and dashes - I need to find books that use them. They're only used to help beginners read the language because in Hebrew they're no written vowels.
- Expanding my conversational skills. and go beyond introducing myself.
- Learning the numbers from 10-20
- Learning the different personal pronouns.
The modern linguistic methods often bypass the grammar study of the targeted language but I'm old school for that and like to study the rules that makes everything function properly.

So, a lot to look forward to! I'll add to that: singing Hebrew songs! A great way to learn too. That's how I did with English. It works!

Abraham...

...Is the elderly man I met today at the local Mc Donald's. An affable, out-going person, who does not hold onto some of the social barriers we too often set up in our life.
In a very friendly way he approached a young mom just to make sure that he was learning Spanish right. You see, he had a study guide with him and had been working on his laptop for a while when the mom came in and sat next to his table. Noticing she was speaking Spanish to her daughter he jumped at the chance and just started chatting away with her. I smiled. She looked at me and smiled, amused by the situation.
People like this are refreshing, they're like the rain in the desert. And I was thirsty. So at once, I decided to become a part of his life for a little while and joined in. I got up from my table and approached the two of them, conversing in Spanish too! 'Hola! Me llamo Fabienne. Soy Francesa. Como esta?'
A big grin on his face, he replied - in Spanish of course - delighted at the language club that was now forming in the restaurant. He wanted to know everything: 'How do you say this word? and that one?'
We talked and laughed for half an hour then it was time for me to go. I called my boys, gathered our belongings then headed out to the door, but not without stopping by his table to shake hands: 'Abraham, it was a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for letting me in your life for a moment.'

Back On The Roller Coaster

Believe it or not, we're back on it! Things seems to have changed over there in NC and they called my husband back... More to follow in the next few days.

The studying of Hebrew is going well; I'm still not sure I'll attain the goals that I set for myself last week. I'm almost there though; I still don't master the cursive part of the writing. I've been distracted by a beautiful song I have found on YouTube - in Hebrew of course. I've been busy learning the lyrics and well...singing! Please click on the link and enjoy!

Lean on Him, always...

Health Check

Doctor's order: I do need to make drastic changes in my lifestyle; diet and exercise being the two key words. *Sigh* I have to have a plan with goals, I've got to understand better how the body works - I have to educate myself and learn more about the impact of what I eat has on my health, how exercise is going to help me feel better. Knowledge should empower me to make those drastic changes; I've tried so many times in the past but each time I have failed, simply because I did not realize how important those changes are.
So...let's start. I thought I'd share with you, not only my progress but also the important facts I'm about to learn about health in general. In fact, I'm going to make a special page dedicated to just that; useful health information gathered here and there on the web or in books. You'll find the link on top of the page. Enjoy!

Studying Hebrew

Since it would probably benefit my study to have a daily log of my work and progress, I choose to use this blog as a notepad. I started learning the language about a year ago but haven't been very consistent with the work that's required to attain the level that I should be at today. In order to change that, I want to try to write down some of my goals and the progress I'm making towards them.

Today is Friday and by Wednesday - so 6 days from now - I want to be able to:
- recite the alphabet without any written support
- recognize the letters in Hebrew words
- know how to write each letter - including the cursive form
- learn the vowels (dots & dashes)
- learn how to greet, and how to introduce myself.

I have found great videos on YouTube, plus I'm using the book 'Hebrew for Dummies' - which is very well done.
Alright, let's get to work!

A Dream Come True

Do you remember the dreams you had as a child? Have some of them come true? I'm not talking about the dreams you had at night, no - but the ones that were with you night and day. The ones that when things got tough were giving you a hand to hold on to: 'One day, I will do this, go to that place or one day, a prince will come and save me' etc. Those kind of dreams. I had a lot of them as a kid; they kept me going. A few of them came true.
Through a book for example, I fell in love with the United States of America. That novel was Mark Twain's 'The Adventures of Tom Sawyer'. I fell in love with the character and the country where his adventures took place. This land had become a refuge in my mind...'One day, I will go to the United States of America.' Here I am, some 28 years later, living in the land of the Free. Interestingly enough, I never worked at coming here. It just happened. If anything I was trying to go back to England when I met my future husband. Today, I smile when I remember that dream... and thank God, because after all, He is the One who made my dream come true.

His will be done

The waiting period is over. We now know for sure we are not going to North Carolina.
*Big sigh of relief* Even though they were good things attached to the move - like a much better quality of life - I felt relieved this morning when I heard the news. Relieved because I realized that I wasn't ready to go. Some things aren't finished yet here in CA and I'm way too attached to some people! What an emotional roller coaster this whole process of waiting was! 5 months! 5 months of happiness and excitement at first - then fear and anxiety crept in at the thought of not being able to handle the stress that such a move would incur...
Today I was humbled to see that God knew this all the way. He does care for me - just as He does care for you.

Jazz it up!

What was your ray of sunshine today? Among the struggles, the pain, the tears, the heavy feeling that can sometimes follow you everywhere; what was your ray of sunshine?
For me, it was jazz! I have this special love for 'The First Lady of Song': Ella Fitzgerald. Her warm voice makes everything vibrate in me. Her songs and ballads transport me to that sunny place where I just rest and enjoy the time being.Click here to visit her official website and I just added a video of one
of my favorite songs below. Enjoy!

Sing a Song of Joy

Psalm 33 (NIV)

¹ Sing joyfully to the LORD, you righteous;
it is fitting for the upright to praise him.

² Praise the LORD with the harp;
make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre.

³ Sing to him a new song;
play skillfully, and shout for joy.

⁴ For the word of the LORD is right and true;
he is faithful in all he does.

⁵ The LORD loves righteousness and justice;
the earth is full of his unfailing love.

⁶ By the word of the LORD were the heavens made,
their starry host by the breath of his mouth.

⁷ He gathers the waters of the sea into jars
he puts the deep into storehouses.

⁸ Let all the earth fear the LORD;
let all the people of the world revere him.

⁹ For he spoke, and it came to be;
he commanded, and it stood firm.

¹⁰ The LORD foils the plans of the nations;
he thwarts the purposes of the peoples.

¹¹ But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever,
the purposes of his heart through all generations.

¹² Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD,
the people he chose for his inheritance.

¹³ From heaven the LORD looks down
and sees all mankind;

¹⁴ from his dwelling place he watches
all who live on earth-

¹⁵ he who forms the hearts of all,
who considers everything they do.

¹⁶ No king is saved by the size of his army;
no warrior escapes by his great strength.

¹⁷ A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;
despite all its great strength it cannot save.

¹⁸ But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him,
on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,

¹⁹ to deliver them from death
and keep them alive in famine.

²⁰ We wait in hope for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.

²¹ In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.

²² May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD,
even as we put our hope in you.

My Home Little Project

Finally! The photos of my last project -a kitchen cabinet- have been edited and are now ready to show.
The first picture is the original pine wood cabinet, bought half price at Michael's (I believe the discount was because of a marker's stain inside, on the top shelf). I decided to add a decorative molding at the top center part as a personal touch. I cut it, stained it with a warm golden oak color, then glued it, leaving the clamps overnight (picture 2). The last photo shows a great box I found at Michael's months ago in which I store my beading materials. Voila! It was fun, refreshing - to set my mind on something different - and very rewarding as I love the end result!

Cracking the code...

...the HTML one that is, wasn't an easy task for me so the new look will have to wait as I refuse to spend my days in front of a computer!
Yesterday turned out to be quite a nice day where I was able to rest thanks to my other half! I ended up taking a 2 hour nap - woohoo! - followed by a trip to a mall where I spent some good quality time with books at Barnes & Nobles - nice to catch up on what's out there! After an hour I finally sat down, savoring both a bowl of Chow Mein and a book on learning Hebrew. I enjoyed every minute of it; I discovered the many rules concerning numbers and counting in Hebrew - more complicated than in French! I'm progressing with the study of the language which literally, is a music to my ears and a immense blessing. I think I started about a year ago, for religious reasons I must say. Studying the Bible with the knowledge of the original language makes a huge difference in captivating the way the authors of the sacred writings used to think and what the culture was like in those times. It's going to take a long time for me to get it all but hey, it is going to open up the scriptures so much that I'm all for it!
Back from my respite, I made it through the rest of the day - and night - okay. I still have to deal with some withdrawal symptoms and insomnia is a big one right now. All moms out there know that the less you sleep, the less patience you have to offer those little ones that God has entrusted you with. So...yes, the rest of the day didn't go as well as I'd have liked it to go but...oh well! Tomorrow is another day, right? And indeed it is.

Changes

I have decided to change my blog's template today because I feel very limited in what I can do with this one, even though I LOVE the red and black combination. Please bear with me as I try to give this baby a new look :) Thanks!

The Ocean's Fury, Unleashed...

The Ocean being my emotions, that should give you a pretty good picture of what the weekend was like for me...
All of us have been or are at that place where you think you just can't go on anymore, where all the people around you, those you thought cared are either oblivious to what's happening or, just don't care about it. The fight is on. 'Why do I have to go through this alone again? Why am I always amazed by this indifference and why on earth does it make me angry? Why do I feel that nobody cares?'
Could it be because... we really don't?
What a frightening question that is. How much do we care for those who hurt? - and since it involves pretty much everybody, let me rephrase the question: How much do we really care for our neighbor, for the stranger in the street? How ready are we to get out of our comfort zone to lend a hand and relieve somebody's pain and/or hopelessness? It requires self-denial, the giving up of something in us: something we're doing at the very moment help is needed, the giving up of the fear of being hurt, of the person's reaction... We could sit here all day and list all the 'good' reasons in the world...
But why? Why?
The only answer I have is because we live in a fallen world, where the 'Me,Myself and I' - the human trinity! - reigns. But guess what? God, our Creator, reigns even higher and He is not impressed by our struggle to take over. No.
How often have I failed to be there for a friend who so desperately needed support? A lot more than I'd like to believe, I'm sure. This truth is humbling because, instead of pointing the finger at those around me, wondering why they're not helping me, it now puts me on the spot too. I'm just as guilty. But thanks to our God, there is a way out; I can go to my Lord, Jesus Christ, who so lovingly has reminded me of my condition, and ask Him to forgive me for such arrogance. And because His Words, in 1 John 1:9 (NIV) tells me that 'if we confess our sins, He's faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.' I know that my sin has been removed (Psalm 103:11-12)
So then, what? Well, because He has forgiven me I can forgive others. Do you want to let go? I do. I choose to. I forgive those who could have helped me this weekend but didn't. It means that I choose not to hold it against them, not to act around them as if they owed me something (how arrogant is that?) They don't; their debt has been paid in full by the blood of Jesus Christ when He died on the cross. And because He was more than conqueror, He was raised from the dead so that all things could one day be restored, just as He pleases.

In You I find my rest, O Lord,
Thank You for loving me...
Your daughter,

Fabienne

Beautiful Day !

What a beautiful day today! My boys and I enjoyed a great morning at church where we regularly meet other moms with their lil' ones. After playing outside for a while, the children did some collage indoors. It was a lot of fun to see their creativity at work and the obsession of some with keeping everything extra clean..oh my! What a show that was!
Anyway..I did my research on relocating yesterday and found a very helpful website that provides a lot more info than I expected to find. I started getting quotes for moving our belongings to NC - including our cars and it turned out it was a little cheaper than I thought it'd be. They also give you a to-do list when relocating and when to do it. I printed that one out as one cannot think about everything when moving - or at least, I know I won't!
Yesterday was also a good day because I FINALLY started to work on a small cabinet that I had purchased at Michael's a while back. I saw it and loved it right away! It fits in perfectly with my country style kitchen. But because it came unfinished, I needed to put some paint and add a personal touch to it. That's what I started doing yesterday! So far, so good! I love it! I'll show you the before/after pictures once the project is complete.

Friends, I have to go right now as my boys are asking to go for a nap and if they nap then guess what? That's right! I'm going to nap too! So sweet dreams for now - talk to you later!

He Reigns!

'To the Lord your God belong the heavens, even the highest heaven,
The earth and everything in it.'

Deuteronomy 10:14

What a wonderful way to start the day; by being reminded of our God's Sovereignty. I'm content, whole, forgiven and made new in Him. I will rejoice in His Word and in His Law, with songs of praise, I will go through the valleys, and in awe, I will bow down and surrender. You are my God and my King!


The Closet! It turned out that I actually didn't throw too much away. I had forgotten that I had gone through it not that long ago. This time, I did an inventory of what was in it and set aside the things I'd like to sell. I look forward to organizing a garage sale. I have never done that; sounds like fun though. Did you know that in France we call that a 'vide grenier' which literally means 'empty attic' ? I remember going to a few when I lived there. It was never just one person doing it in their private yard no; rather, it was the whole village or a good part of it, who would gather in the streets and sell their items for extra cheap. I miss that...
Anyway, back to the U.S.!
Another thing that's on our to-do list is to find information about relocating in general. We will have more details about the moving package my husband's company offers once they actually make an official offer, but I don't think it'll hurt to start searching. I'd like to find testimonies of people who went through that; what tips can they give us? What would they do differently if they had to do this again? etc This might sound a little too rushed to some of you, especially as you read that we actually haven't been offered a job YET! It looks very much like they're going to - and if for one reason or another we were to stay here in California then fine! My world will not shatter. It will have been a good opportunity to fix my house and a good way to realize what I would have missed by leaving - mainly some fantastic people that are in my life right now.
So all is fine :) No matter what, God is in control. He reigns. He is a Sovereign God! Amen!

To the closet!

Oh, How I love You my Lord and my King!
You have taken me to a place of rest
And calmed the storm inside.
How sweet is Your Word; it is Life to me!

He turned yesterday's pain and struggles into a day of hope and rejoicing with songs. By His grace, I was able to move on and live! How I love His Word, His Law, His decrees. They bring life to us...May His name be glorified, forever and ever. Amen.

Since it looks more and more like we're going to be moving at some point in the summer, I have decided to prepare our house to be shown and sold. This requires a thorough spring cleaning which is going to involve....throwing! I hate keeping things in the house that aren't being used. I'm a thrower - my husband is the keeper. Living in a small house only makes it more essential. Organization had never really been my forte but I had to decide at some point that, if I wanted to survive in this world where junk is oh too present, then I should put some boundaries and say 'enough! That's it! I can't live like that anymore.' Order, I find, give a sense of security, of control - not in a bad way...it's more like: 'I'm in charge of my environment and not the opposite'
So, practically, today, what does it involve? Well, let's see...
There's a closet in our bedroom that is full of things we don't seem to use - EVER! I guess, that could be a start:

• Boxes of smaller clothes that I hope to be able to wear again one day...

• Boxes of baby clothes that we do hope to use again...

• Boxes of wires and cables and computer stuff - I think - that I really don't know what to do with...

• Old jackets that are either too big or too small...

• Old bed sheets with a country pattern that I LOVE but can't use right now simply because they're for queen or king size beds and we have a big CalKing one...

• 4 or 5 dusty guitar cases, a play mat for infants, all our swimming attire along with the beach towels etc

There's so much - I'm seriously thinking of having a garage sale sometime. That should help getting rid of some items.
Alright, that's a start! Bedroom closet; Here I come!

He will carry me

Yesterday was especially difficult as far as dealing with the withdrawal effects of the meds I used to take and so far, today hasn't been much better. That weird, undiscribable sensation in my brain is the most disturbing symptom;I feel like electric shocks going through it every so often. On top of it, add muscle pain, sweating, agitation, dizziness... you name it, I have it. It's tough.
I want to make it through the day. I will lift up my eyes to the Lord and He will rescue me. That's the way: Jesus Christ. He only can take me through this difficult time.
It is a decision I'm making; a step of faith that He'll be there and help me.
Help me Abba!

Sunshine and Rain

Wow, the day was weird with patches of sunshine when I was in control of my emotions - well, pretty much ;-) and times when it was just chaos inside. *Sigh* After a good cry I managed to let go - no need to say that I'm now drained and ready for a good night of sleep - well, that is if the boys let me! Tomorrow is another day...

Withdrawal Symptoms

This morning is a little tougher than yesterday. I have finally stopped the Venlafaxine - which is the generic for Effexor. I had been on a quarter of a pill for the past three weeks and was waiting for my lil' one's birthday party to be over to further decrease the medication. Every time I have done so, I've experienced a strong dizziness, nausea, tiredness and just a general feeling of being sick with the flu or something like it. This morning is no different. I wonder how long those symptoms are going to last this time. Usually, they're there for a week or two - or more.
Now, on top of all the physical discomfort, my patience tends to go away; I'm a lot more irritable, cry a lot and have more flashbacks than usual. Dealing with PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - is no fun but I'm learning to take charge of my feelings instead of them controlling me. Why not use the disorder as a strength instead of a weakness? This just dawned on me! I guess journaling my road to recovery is already bearing fruit! Yippee!
More to come later today...
Take care :)

About my Faith

I'd like to share about my faith in Christ Jesus. I'm going through a phase in my life where I no longer accept what was taught to me as granted. Instead, I'm now questioning it; what does the Bible say about what people and the church have been teaching me all those years? Is it really consistent with the Scriptures?
I'm hungry; I want to know more about God, His people, history etc...So I'm searching - and things are starting to connect and make a lot more sense. My faith is growing and getting stronger. Praise be to God for His goodness and mercy.
Because of the season we're in, I thought I'd do a search on Easter. I'm going to share a link of a website I stumbled upon a few days ago. The article about 'The True Origin of Easter' fascinates me... Go there, read, study - always go back to the word of God. Remember: He is our foundation, our Rock - the Truth.
Here's the link: http://www.thercg.org/books/ttooe.html Enjoy!

Welcome!

Welcome to my life! When I look back twenty years ago, I realize how the idea of sharing my life with friends or even strangers on the internet was inconceivable. I'm not even sure I had a computer back then! Life is unpredictable - in so many ways. I mean, I met my husband online, I keep in touch with my friends and family in France and in England through Facebook...Not that I couldn't live without it but life would be a little different without my PC and the net.
My husband came back from North Carolina two weeks ago and had some encouraging news; we might very well move over there soon. How exciting! I'm ready to take on the new challenge; I know by experience that it isn't easy to relocate to a place where you don't know a soul; I've done it a few times but now, it's different: we have two little boys with us. We'll try to prepare them as best as possible. I need to prepare too. I'm going to leave some exceptional people behind and that will not be easy. In fact, it will be very painful...but I want to trust God and His grace. He'll help me.