The Lord, He is God!

A Hebrew Update

So here is the progress made this past week with my Hebrew learning:
I have reached pretty much all the goals I had set with the exception of the vowels. I still do not master the whole thing and it is going to take some more practice in order for me to be able to recognize the different dots and dashes. I now know the letters though, both in their script and cursive form, know the name for each one of them -yes! I can sing the AlephBet song! - know how to introduce myself and how to count from 1 to 10. So, I'll give myself a 9/10 - which is good. Yay!

In this coming week, I want to work on:
- The dots and dashes - I need to find books that use them. They're only used to help beginners read the language because in Hebrew they're no written vowels.
- Expanding my conversational skills. and go beyond introducing myself.
- Learning the numbers from 10-20
- Learning the different personal pronouns.
The modern linguistic methods often bypass the grammar study of the targeted language but I'm old school for that and like to study the rules that makes everything function properly.

So, a lot to look forward to! I'll add to that: singing Hebrew songs! A great way to learn too. That's how I did with English. It works!

Abraham...

...Is the elderly man I met today at the local Mc Donald's. An affable, out-going person, who does not hold onto some of the social barriers we too often set up in our life.
In a very friendly way he approached a young mom just to make sure that he was learning Spanish right. You see, he had a study guide with him and had been working on his laptop for a while when the mom came in and sat next to his table. Noticing she was speaking Spanish to her daughter he jumped at the chance and just started chatting away with her. I smiled. She looked at me and smiled, amused by the situation.
People like this are refreshing, they're like the rain in the desert. And I was thirsty. So at once, I decided to become a part of his life for a little while and joined in. I got up from my table and approached the two of them, conversing in Spanish too! 'Hola! Me llamo Fabienne. Soy Francesa. Como esta?'
A big grin on his face, he replied - in Spanish of course - delighted at the language club that was now forming in the restaurant. He wanted to know everything: 'How do you say this word? and that one?'
We talked and laughed for half an hour then it was time for me to go. I called my boys, gathered our belongings then headed out to the door, but not without stopping by his table to shake hands: 'Abraham, it was a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for letting me in your life for a moment.'

Back On The Roller Coaster

Believe it or not, we're back on it! Things seems to have changed over there in NC and they called my husband back... More to follow in the next few days.

The studying of Hebrew is going well; I'm still not sure I'll attain the goals that I set for myself last week. I'm almost there though; I still don't master the cursive part of the writing. I've been distracted by a beautiful song I have found on YouTube - in Hebrew of course. I've been busy learning the lyrics and well...singing! Please click on the link and enjoy!

Lean on Him, always...

Health Check

Doctor's order: I do need to make drastic changes in my lifestyle; diet and exercise being the two key words. *Sigh* I have to have a plan with goals, I've got to understand better how the body works - I have to educate myself and learn more about the impact of what I eat has on my health, how exercise is going to help me feel better. Knowledge should empower me to make those drastic changes; I've tried so many times in the past but each time I have failed, simply because I did not realize how important those changes are.
So...let's start. I thought I'd share with you, not only my progress but also the important facts I'm about to learn about health in general. In fact, I'm going to make a special page dedicated to just that; useful health information gathered here and there on the web or in books. You'll find the link on top of the page. Enjoy!

Studying Hebrew

Since it would probably benefit my study to have a daily log of my work and progress, I choose to use this blog as a notepad. I started learning the language about a year ago but haven't been very consistent with the work that's required to attain the level that I should be at today. In order to change that, I want to try to write down some of my goals and the progress I'm making towards them.

Today is Friday and by Wednesday - so 6 days from now - I want to be able to:
- recite the alphabet without any written support
- recognize the letters in Hebrew words
- know how to write each letter - including the cursive form
- learn the vowels (dots & dashes)
- learn how to greet, and how to introduce myself.

I have found great videos on YouTube, plus I'm using the book 'Hebrew for Dummies' - which is very well done.
Alright, let's get to work!

A Dream Come True

Do you remember the dreams you had as a child? Have some of them come true? I'm not talking about the dreams you had at night, no - but the ones that were with you night and day. The ones that when things got tough were giving you a hand to hold on to: 'One day, I will do this, go to that place or one day, a prince will come and save me' etc. Those kind of dreams. I had a lot of them as a kid; they kept me going. A few of them came true.
Through a book for example, I fell in love with the United States of America. That novel was Mark Twain's 'The Adventures of Tom Sawyer'. I fell in love with the character and the country where his adventures took place. This land had become a refuge in my mind...'One day, I will go to the United States of America.' Here I am, some 28 years later, living in the land of the Free. Interestingly enough, I never worked at coming here. It just happened. If anything I was trying to go back to England when I met my future husband. Today, I smile when I remember that dream... and thank God, because after all, He is the One who made my dream come true.

His will be done

The waiting period is over. We now know for sure we are not going to North Carolina.
*Big sigh of relief* Even though they were good things attached to the move - like a much better quality of life - I felt relieved this morning when I heard the news. Relieved because I realized that I wasn't ready to go. Some things aren't finished yet here in CA and I'm way too attached to some people! What an emotional roller coaster this whole process of waiting was! 5 months! 5 months of happiness and excitement at first - then fear and anxiety crept in at the thought of not being able to handle the stress that such a move would incur...
Today I was humbled to see that God knew this all the way. He does care for me - just as He does care for you.

Jazz it up!

What was your ray of sunshine today? Among the struggles, the pain, the tears, the heavy feeling that can sometimes follow you everywhere; what was your ray of sunshine?
For me, it was jazz! I have this special love for 'The First Lady of Song': Ella Fitzgerald. Her warm voice makes everything vibrate in me. Her songs and ballads transport me to that sunny place where I just rest and enjoy the time being.Click here to visit her official website and I just added a video of one
of my favorite songs below. Enjoy!

Sing a Song of Joy

Psalm 33 (NIV)

¹ Sing joyfully to the LORD, you righteous;
it is fitting for the upright to praise him.

² Praise the LORD with the harp;
make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre.

³ Sing to him a new song;
play skillfully, and shout for joy.

⁴ For the word of the LORD is right and true;
he is faithful in all he does.

⁵ The LORD loves righteousness and justice;
the earth is full of his unfailing love.

⁶ By the word of the LORD were the heavens made,
their starry host by the breath of his mouth.

⁷ He gathers the waters of the sea into jars
he puts the deep into storehouses.

⁸ Let all the earth fear the LORD;
let all the people of the world revere him.

⁹ For he spoke, and it came to be;
he commanded, and it stood firm.

¹⁰ The LORD foils the plans of the nations;
he thwarts the purposes of the peoples.

¹¹ But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever,
the purposes of his heart through all generations.

¹² Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD,
the people he chose for his inheritance.

¹³ From heaven the LORD looks down
and sees all mankind;

¹⁴ from his dwelling place he watches
all who live on earth-

¹⁵ he who forms the hearts of all,
who considers everything they do.

¹⁶ No king is saved by the size of his army;
no warrior escapes by his great strength.

¹⁷ A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;
despite all its great strength it cannot save.

¹⁸ But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him,
on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,

¹⁹ to deliver them from death
and keep them alive in famine.

²⁰ We wait in hope for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.

²¹ In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.

²² May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD,
even as we put our hope in you.

My Home Little Project

Finally! The photos of my last project -a kitchen cabinet- have been edited and are now ready to show.
The first picture is the original pine wood cabinet, bought half price at Michael's (I believe the discount was because of a marker's stain inside, on the top shelf). I decided to add a decorative molding at the top center part as a personal touch. I cut it, stained it with a warm golden oak color, then glued it, leaving the clamps overnight (picture 2). The last photo shows a great box I found at Michael's months ago in which I store my beading materials. Voila! It was fun, refreshing - to set my mind on something different - and very rewarding as I love the end result!

Cracking the code...

...the HTML one that is, wasn't an easy task for me so the new look will have to wait as I refuse to spend my days in front of a computer!
Yesterday turned out to be quite a nice day where I was able to rest thanks to my other half! I ended up taking a 2 hour nap - woohoo! - followed by a trip to a mall where I spent some good quality time with books at Barnes & Nobles - nice to catch up on what's out there! After an hour I finally sat down, savoring both a bowl of Chow Mein and a book on learning Hebrew. I enjoyed every minute of it; I discovered the many rules concerning numbers and counting in Hebrew - more complicated than in French! I'm progressing with the study of the language which literally, is a music to my ears and a immense blessing. I think I started about a year ago, for religious reasons I must say. Studying the Bible with the knowledge of the original language makes a huge difference in captivating the way the authors of the sacred writings used to think and what the culture was like in those times. It's going to take a long time for me to get it all but hey, it is going to open up the scriptures so much that I'm all for it!
Back from my respite, I made it through the rest of the day - and night - okay. I still have to deal with some withdrawal symptoms and insomnia is a big one right now. All moms out there know that the less you sleep, the less patience you have to offer those little ones that God has entrusted you with. So...yes, the rest of the day didn't go as well as I'd have liked it to go but...oh well! Tomorrow is another day, right? And indeed it is.

Changes

I have decided to change my blog's template today because I feel very limited in what I can do with this one, even though I LOVE the red and black combination. Please bear with me as I try to give this baby a new look :) Thanks!

The Ocean's Fury, Unleashed...

The Ocean being my emotions, that should give you a pretty good picture of what the weekend was like for me...
All of us have been or are at that place where you think you just can't go on anymore, where all the people around you, those you thought cared are either oblivious to what's happening or, just don't care about it. The fight is on. 'Why do I have to go through this alone again? Why am I always amazed by this indifference and why on earth does it make me angry? Why do I feel that nobody cares?'
Could it be because... we really don't?
What a frightening question that is. How much do we care for those who hurt? - and since it involves pretty much everybody, let me rephrase the question: How much do we really care for our neighbor, for the stranger in the street? How ready are we to get out of our comfort zone to lend a hand and relieve somebody's pain and/or hopelessness? It requires self-denial, the giving up of something in us: something we're doing at the very moment help is needed, the giving up of the fear of being hurt, of the person's reaction... We could sit here all day and list all the 'good' reasons in the world...
But why? Why?
The only answer I have is because we live in a fallen world, where the 'Me,Myself and I' - the human trinity! - reigns. But guess what? God, our Creator, reigns even higher and He is not impressed by our struggle to take over. No.
How often have I failed to be there for a friend who so desperately needed support? A lot more than I'd like to believe, I'm sure. This truth is humbling because, instead of pointing the finger at those around me, wondering why they're not helping me, it now puts me on the spot too. I'm just as guilty. But thanks to our God, there is a way out; I can go to my Lord, Jesus Christ, who so lovingly has reminded me of my condition, and ask Him to forgive me for such arrogance. And because His Words, in 1 John 1:9 (NIV) tells me that 'if we confess our sins, He's faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.' I know that my sin has been removed (Psalm 103:11-12)
So then, what? Well, because He has forgiven me I can forgive others. Do you want to let go? I do. I choose to. I forgive those who could have helped me this weekend but didn't. It means that I choose not to hold it against them, not to act around them as if they owed me something (how arrogant is that?) They don't; their debt has been paid in full by the blood of Jesus Christ when He died on the cross. And because He was more than conqueror, He was raised from the dead so that all things could one day be restored, just as He pleases.

In You I find my rest, O Lord,
Thank You for loving me...
Your daughter,

Fabienne

Beautiful Day !

What a beautiful day today! My boys and I enjoyed a great morning at church where we regularly meet other moms with their lil' ones. After playing outside for a while, the children did some collage indoors. It was a lot of fun to see their creativity at work and the obsession of some with keeping everything extra clean..oh my! What a show that was!
Anyway..I did my research on relocating yesterday and found a very helpful website that provides a lot more info than I expected to find. I started getting quotes for moving our belongings to NC - including our cars and it turned out it was a little cheaper than I thought it'd be. They also give you a to-do list when relocating and when to do it. I printed that one out as one cannot think about everything when moving - or at least, I know I won't!
Yesterday was also a good day because I FINALLY started to work on a small cabinet that I had purchased at Michael's a while back. I saw it and loved it right away! It fits in perfectly with my country style kitchen. But because it came unfinished, I needed to put some paint and add a personal touch to it. That's what I started doing yesterday! So far, so good! I love it! I'll show you the before/after pictures once the project is complete.

Friends, I have to go right now as my boys are asking to go for a nap and if they nap then guess what? That's right! I'm going to nap too! So sweet dreams for now - talk to you later!

He Reigns!

'To the Lord your God belong the heavens, even the highest heaven,
The earth and everything in it.'

Deuteronomy 10:14

What a wonderful way to start the day; by being reminded of our God's Sovereignty. I'm content, whole, forgiven and made new in Him. I will rejoice in His Word and in His Law, with songs of praise, I will go through the valleys, and in awe, I will bow down and surrender. You are my God and my King!


The Closet! It turned out that I actually didn't throw too much away. I had forgotten that I had gone through it not that long ago. This time, I did an inventory of what was in it and set aside the things I'd like to sell. I look forward to organizing a garage sale. I have never done that; sounds like fun though. Did you know that in France we call that a 'vide grenier' which literally means 'empty attic' ? I remember going to a few when I lived there. It was never just one person doing it in their private yard no; rather, it was the whole village or a good part of it, who would gather in the streets and sell their items for extra cheap. I miss that...
Anyway, back to the U.S.!
Another thing that's on our to-do list is to find information about relocating in general. We will have more details about the moving package my husband's company offers once they actually make an official offer, but I don't think it'll hurt to start searching. I'd like to find testimonies of people who went through that; what tips can they give us? What would they do differently if they had to do this again? etc This might sound a little too rushed to some of you, especially as you read that we actually haven't been offered a job YET! It looks very much like they're going to - and if for one reason or another we were to stay here in California then fine! My world will not shatter. It will have been a good opportunity to fix my house and a good way to realize what I would have missed by leaving - mainly some fantastic people that are in my life right now.
So all is fine :) No matter what, God is in control. He reigns. He is a Sovereign God! Amen!

To the closet!

Oh, How I love You my Lord and my King!
You have taken me to a place of rest
And calmed the storm inside.
How sweet is Your Word; it is Life to me!

He turned yesterday's pain and struggles into a day of hope and rejoicing with songs. By His grace, I was able to move on and live! How I love His Word, His Law, His decrees. They bring life to us...May His name be glorified, forever and ever. Amen.

Since it looks more and more like we're going to be moving at some point in the summer, I have decided to prepare our house to be shown and sold. This requires a thorough spring cleaning which is going to involve....throwing! I hate keeping things in the house that aren't being used. I'm a thrower - my husband is the keeper. Living in a small house only makes it more essential. Organization had never really been my forte but I had to decide at some point that, if I wanted to survive in this world where junk is oh too present, then I should put some boundaries and say 'enough! That's it! I can't live like that anymore.' Order, I find, give a sense of security, of control - not in a bad way...it's more like: 'I'm in charge of my environment and not the opposite'
So, practically, today, what does it involve? Well, let's see...
There's a closet in our bedroom that is full of things we don't seem to use - EVER! I guess, that could be a start:

• Boxes of smaller clothes that I hope to be able to wear again one day...

• Boxes of baby clothes that we do hope to use again...

• Boxes of wires and cables and computer stuff - I think - that I really don't know what to do with...

• Old jackets that are either too big or too small...

• Old bed sheets with a country pattern that I LOVE but can't use right now simply because they're for queen or king size beds and we have a big CalKing one...

• 4 or 5 dusty guitar cases, a play mat for infants, all our swimming attire along with the beach towels etc

There's so much - I'm seriously thinking of having a garage sale sometime. That should help getting rid of some items.
Alright, that's a start! Bedroom closet; Here I come!

He will carry me

Yesterday was especially difficult as far as dealing with the withdrawal effects of the meds I used to take and so far, today hasn't been much better. That weird, undiscribable sensation in my brain is the most disturbing symptom;I feel like electric shocks going through it every so often. On top of it, add muscle pain, sweating, agitation, dizziness... you name it, I have it. It's tough.
I want to make it through the day. I will lift up my eyes to the Lord and He will rescue me. That's the way: Jesus Christ. He only can take me through this difficult time.
It is a decision I'm making; a step of faith that He'll be there and help me.
Help me Abba!

Sunshine and Rain

Wow, the day was weird with patches of sunshine when I was in control of my emotions - well, pretty much ;-) and times when it was just chaos inside. *Sigh* After a good cry I managed to let go - no need to say that I'm now drained and ready for a good night of sleep - well, that is if the boys let me! Tomorrow is another day...

Withdrawal Symptoms

This morning is a little tougher than yesterday. I have finally stopped the Venlafaxine - which is the generic for Effexor. I had been on a quarter of a pill for the past three weeks and was waiting for my lil' one's birthday party to be over to further decrease the medication. Every time I have done so, I've experienced a strong dizziness, nausea, tiredness and just a general feeling of being sick with the flu or something like it. This morning is no different. I wonder how long those symptoms are going to last this time. Usually, they're there for a week or two - or more.
Now, on top of all the physical discomfort, my patience tends to go away; I'm a lot more irritable, cry a lot and have more flashbacks than usual. Dealing with PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - is no fun but I'm learning to take charge of my feelings instead of them controlling me. Why not use the disorder as a strength instead of a weakness? This just dawned on me! I guess journaling my road to recovery is already bearing fruit! Yippee!
More to come later today...
Take care :)

About my Faith

I'd like to share about my faith in Christ Jesus. I'm going through a phase in my life where I no longer accept what was taught to me as granted. Instead, I'm now questioning it; what does the Bible say about what people and the church have been teaching me all those years? Is it really consistent with the Scriptures?
I'm hungry; I want to know more about God, His people, history etc...So I'm searching - and things are starting to connect and make a lot more sense. My faith is growing and getting stronger. Praise be to God for His goodness and mercy.
Because of the season we're in, I thought I'd do a search on Easter. I'm going to share a link of a website I stumbled upon a few days ago. The article about 'The True Origin of Easter' fascinates me... Go there, read, study - always go back to the word of God. Remember: He is our foundation, our Rock - the Truth.
Here's the link: http://www.thercg.org/books/ttooe.html Enjoy!